Ever have one of those moments where you just sit back, shake your head, and relish in your own ridiculous-ness? Well, I'm having one of those moments right now. And you, my blogger friends, are the benefactors. I'm going to tell you a story:
OK, so, once upon a time, let's say... a time in early February of this year, Mighty Bob and a friend, let's call her Amber, because that's her name, decided to write Valentine's Day letters to cheer the hearts of their friends who were serving missions in distant lands. They were having so much fun that when they had run out of friends in common, they decided to write Amber's brother, who was also on a mission, but whom Mighty Bob had never heard of, much less met. Anyhow, so there must have been something in that crazy Utah tap water MB drank between letters, because the letter she wrote to a complete stranger at that point, not to mention the saga that followed, well… umm… heck, they still maker her chuckle and scratch her head.
What was I thinking when I wrote this? *chortle*
And without further ado, I present Chapter 1 of the Brünhilda saga (a complete fabrication):
“Dear Elder Fulano-sulano,
Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope everything is going very well on your mission. Your sister walked around church asking the women to please write her poor missionary brother who never gets any mail. There were several of us who decided to take her up on it, but this is the only one you’re getting. Amber showed me your picture. What a hunk! I’m a jealous woman, so I’ve disposed of the other letters.
Anyhow, let me describe myself to you. I’m about 6’7” and 375 lbs. I work construction, which pays well. This is a good thing – soon I will have earned enough to make a down payment on the orthodontic surgery to correct my 4” overbite. My mom says that my crossed eyes are charming. You know, it’s kind of hard to write this letter; my hands get sore and bruised from my knuckles dragging on the ground all day.
So I hear you get back in August! I’ve decided to wait for you! Amber says that if we find a car with a moon roof, and if we fit my head in juuuuust so, I may fit in the car to come pick you up from the airport!
See you in August. Love,
Brünhilda”
Stay tuned for Chapter 2: Brünhilda Gets a Letter Back
3 comments:
Well, Brünhilda sounds like a lovely woman that any man would be lucky to be involved with.
Hehe, I can't believe you wrote that to a missionary. I bet he got a huge kick out of it. I know if I were on a mission, and someone wrote to me in the form of a fictional character, I'd be rolling in my apartment, probably disturbing neighbors with my raucous laughter.
I'm laughing already. I can't wait to heare the reply.
Mandie - you can bet he's shown it to everyone in his district, too. Oh, gracious...
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