Chapter 3: A Little More on Brünhilda

Elder “Hunk” Fulano,

So will I have to fight your mom for you at the airport, or will we find a proper arena first? I’ll fight her with my left hand only, that way she’ll have a chance. Unless she’s got a construction job, too. Anyway, I’ll try to make it fair. After all, she probably feels like she’s got dibs since she saw you first and all.

Soooooo… let’s talk about my favorite subject – me! First of all, thought I’d treat you to a picture, since you asked for it.

This is a picture of me last week. After hours of shopping, I finally found the perfect fur coat I was looking for. Imagine shopping for a coat with arms as long as mine! Anyhow, now you know what to look forward to. Let’s see, what else? I served a Spanish-speaking mission in California. I got back almost 3 years ago. Try speaking Spanish with an overbite – it’s darn near impossible to roll your ‘r’s. And most people in respectable neighborhoods wouldn’t let us in. I guess they hadn’t seen a woman with an 8 o’clock shadow before. You wouldn’t believe the kind of prejudice… anyway. We had a lot of success in the ghettos. I can’t tell you how many recruitment offers I was approached with – “be my bouncer” – “be my thug” – “be my personal bodyguard” – I kept telling them, “not on my mission!” Anyhow, I’ve been going to school since the mission, and I just might finally graduate sometime in 2007.

I really do consider myself lucky to have gotten a letter back. Your sister was pretty surprised to get a letter in the mail that wasn’t for her at all. She told me she’d chastise you for that.

Well, I’ve got a long day of hauling construction equipment tomorrow, so I’d better hit the hay. I’ll see you in August, baby *wink, wink*.

Your only Brünhilda,

Brünhilda